As previously promised, here is my most recent contribution to Slant33.com. Slant33 is written for youth ministry professionals. In many cases, the issues discussed are not limited to those in youth ministry. This week, that is especially true and I hope you recognize its value in all ministry contexts.
Love and Peace!
Personal suffering is not something I have escaped. It isn’t something anyone has escaped. I didn’t choose to experience it, but now that I have, I wouldn’t try to escape it. As I think about my life in ministry, I realize suffering is alive in three simple ways: past, present, and future.
My past suffering shapes my perspective on the current realities present in my life and ministry. As I filter through my past, there is one milestone I would describe as life-changing suffering. My mother passed away when I was fifteen after a four-year battle with cancer.
As a teenager, I didn’t know my mother without knowing her suffering. As a result, things like the common cold or flu were no longer acceptable reasons to complain in my mind. It was almost as if I couldn’t be sick enough to justify staying home from school, church, or any other obligation. No one told me this, but witnessing my mother’s illness caused me to reevaluate the things I thought were worthy of complaint. As miserable as I am, there is someone more miserable than me was the thought running through my head. Suddenly my pain, heartache, and suffering took a permanent backseat to the pain, heartache, and suffering of the world around me.
Part of this was a healthy awareness that drew me away from a self-absorbed, adolescent state of mind. On the other hand, I was left with an unhealthy ability to ignore myself for the sake of others. Not addressing the suffering inside myself taught me the invaluable lesson that intentional ignorance of self only results in more suffering. My perspective on the existence of suffering and how to address suffering in a healthy way was shaped by my mother’s suffering, the suffering of those who loved her, and my suffering as a result of losing her at a young age.
The present suffering in my life shapes my internal climate. It shapes the stability of the emotional and spiritual platform I operate from as a leader.
